Thursday, June 14, 2012

Love To Write: Writer's Tips

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Why Television Sucks and Books Rule

Let me start by saying, I'm not opposed to all television, but the more I watch it, the more I find myself hating it. The constant onslaught of reality programming is enough to make me want to take an ax to my television set. How do these scumbags and hos get their own programs? Or better yet, WHY do people actually give these dregs of humanity their valuable time? I just don't get it! What ever happened to smartly-written programs that leave you on the edge of your seat every week? Those programs that made you care about the characters and that you looked forward to all week to watch? Why are we getting fewer of those and more of the crappy reality garbage?

Oh, wait a minute... I think I DO get it after all.

The thing about reality television is that regardless of how mediocre it is, it at least has a fucking RESOLUTION! And that's what we all want, right? A resolution to the story. All too often, a well-written program (ok, it doesn't even have to be well-written; it could just be exciting!) finds a decent audience only to leave that dedicated audience stranded on the side of the road by ending the season on a cliffhanger and then CANCELING the fucking show! All that time, wasted. Those characters you started rooting for, gone. As much as I absolutely can't stand reality programming, there is a comfort knowing that some idiot is going to outwit, outplay and out-whatever everybody else, that some idiot is going to last all summer long in a house of games, that some idiot is going to become an executive chef of some fancy restaurant, that some degenerate may or may not get married, that somebody is going to lose a ton of weight and ultimately change their life. The list goes on and on. Is it any surprise that reality crap is taking over the airwaves?

I hate all reality shows with a dreaded passion, but it doesn't stop me from watching (some of them, at least) season after season. You know why? Because I like an ending... even when I'm praying for the ending halfway through episode one!

When studios broadcast scripted programs, they don't give a shit about the people who watch them. No other form of entertainment treats its fans the way television studios do. In movies, there's a resolution. In video games, there's a resolution. In books, there's a resolution (or, in the case of a trilogy, at least an eventual resolution). Never is the fan left hanging by a thread other than when it comes to television programming.

Case in point, the BBC hit drama, The Fades. That was such an outstanding show that it even won the BAFTA for best drama television program and guess what? It was canceled prior to taking home the gold, after it left us hanging by an unbelievably kick-ass cliffhanger! What the FUCK?! And The Fades is just one in a long, long line of great shows to be killed off all too soon in both America and Britian. So, I ask you, television head honchos, why should I invest my time in your tempting offerings when you're only going to pull them out from under me once they start getting really good? To you, I say, "Go fuck yourself. I'm happier with my books."